I have never had “favorite” times of the year, but this time is one of my favorites. I’m not a fan of the skies going dark early, but there’s something special about the Christmas decorations illuminating the skyline before dinner time. We all know the downfall; the kids are inside by 4:30. In Virginia Beach, the early evenings do not necessitate “cozy” because it is usually 70 degrees until January. When we moved to VA Beach in 2014, I hated the climate, the holidays, and everything about the change. I grew up in the mountains and in the suburbs of Washington, DC. The fall felt cool, the winter felt cold, and the summer felt hot. In VA Beach, we have a great fall, but it is more like summer for most people. Winter is wet, spring is chilly, and summer is as hot as the devil’s front yard.
I have fallen in love with this place. I grew up on a ski slope in Oakland, Maryland and anything below freezing meant they were making snow, if it wasn’t already falling from the winter sky. I must admit, I’ve gotten soft…S.O.F.T! When the weather drops below 60 degrees, I complain, I whine, I throw a fit and I disappoint myself every time I look back on how I act. The truth is, I have gotten used to the climate in VA Beach and I love it! My family has lived in VA Beach for 9 years. Prior to this, the longest that I ever lived in one place was 6 years. I grew up in a pastor’s home and we were in transition every 4-6 years. I paint that background because as much as I love the stability of VA Beach, and I have grown to love the city, I now realize that instability served as my comfort for many years.
I am presenting the idea to you that instability has its own way of making us feel in control. We think the opposite because we want to know what the restaurant menu is before we arrive, where everything around us is located, the quickest way to get out of the city, the closest restroom, etc. When I started to have an established place, a home that was unchanging, and pastoring a church that did not feel like a short term commitment, but a long term calling, I started to get anxious. I felt trapped, there were feelings/fears of my life being mapped out for me. It was in those moments that the realization of instability brought comfort. Instability means that there is no guarantee, but it also means there is no commitment.
It may sound crazy, but what if stability is the thing causing you fear, what if stability is the reason behind your anxiety? What if being planned out and knowing you could live in the same location for 40 years is the antithesis of your burden? Stability is not the problem, but neither is the instability. You are doing a lot better in life than you give yourself credit for. It may seem like everything is falling apart, and maybe it is? But, falling apart does not connotate instability, maybe it is the direction you have been waiting for? Life is not defined by moments, it is defined by how you live it, all of it. In Deuteronomy 31, God tells the Hebrews that He will never leave them and to not be discouraged. He has not left you either and He never will!
