Now is not a good time
Most of the things in my life have been “All of the Sudden.” Most of the big things in my life I have not planned for or predicted. Going back a few years, Casey and I lived on the campus of Evangel University from 2007-2011. A year after we moved back to the Washington, DC area (in 2012) God stirred me to get my master’s from Evangel University. My initial thought was, “I lived on that campus for the past 4 years, now I’m back in Washington, DC and you want me to go back?!” Surely this wasn’t God, it had to be my drive for greatness, my pride, or something I ate the night before. God’s timing couldn’t have been worse. But it was God and what I learned in that season was what I needed; the timing couldn't have been better.
Fast forward to 2023, I’m in the home stretch with my Doctorate. In 2021, I was in Missouri, speaking for two weeks and God made it clear, “Preach my Gospel.” I asked Him what He wanted me to do to better do that. At the time, Casey (in 2020) had started her master’s @ Wheaton College, and I didn’t think the timing was great for me to take on a responsibility like a Doctoral program. My thoughts ranged from, “God can use me like I am, why now? To, "This is in the 5 year plan, right God?” Have you ever wondered why you feel a stirring or a jolt? Have you asked God, why now?
God’s timing will never be convenient, but it will always be perfect. For the last 2 years, both Casey and I have been working on advanced degrees, leading Palms Church, building baseball travel programs, coaching kids at the community and advanced level, starting podcasts, writing blogs, and doing our best to stay obedient. This has been a season of our life where a lot is expected, and we’ve done everything we can do fulfill the requirements of the roles we lead. It’s been a sprinted marathon, but I wouldn’t have wanted to do it any other way. Casey and I were talking last night and reflecting on the past 12 months that God has guided us. My conclusion, “I’ve been stretched in ways that I didn’t know needed stretching and I’m capable of a lot more than I originally thought.” I’ve been operating at full capacity for a year, and I’ve recently learned that it was my capacity with God’s strength.
Life gets overwhelming when we consider all that is going on around us and all the decisions that we must make. There’s an overwhelming concept that we tend to push on one another. It’s what I just spoke about, growing in our capacity and doing more! That’s not what God’s asking. God’s asking for us to trust Him. I haven’t grown in my life because I’m greater than I thought, I’ve grown because God’s greater than I thought. Unfortunately, He’s greater than what I allowed Him to be. I’m not more than enough, He is. When God is more than enough, everything changes.
In Genesis 17:1, God speaks to Abraham about who God is. God isn’t giving Abraham meaningless information that He hopes Abraham will understand. God is showing Abraham that at the age of 99, he still has a lot to learn. He’s trying to help Abraham understand that he isn’t the provider, the fixer, or the one who must have all the answers.
Genesis 17:1 says, “When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to him and said, “I am El-Shaddai—‘God Almighty.’ Serve me faithfully and live a blameless life.” This doesn’t sound like a raw deal for Abraham. God is asking him to live a blameless life, in other words, He’s asking Abraham to live like He loves Jesus. When we realize that God is God Almighty, we don’t feel the weight to have to be almighty.
I’m gearing down on finishing my Doctorate. There are a million questions that I have for God. Some of those are, “What now? Do you want me to teach? Am I supposed to raise up the next generation of pastors and church planters? Do you want me to do baseball lessons? Do you want me to be more invested in coaching or in potentially being a professor? Am I supposed to do both? Am I going to miss this and live in regret the rest of my life?” Some of those questions are a bit absurd but some are the same questions that you are asking. God welcomes every question, every tension, every pain, every joy, and every tough moment or celebration.
Just remember, God is The Almighty God! You don’t have to be what God has created you to be, just love God and He will lead you to places that you never imagined. God’s goal for your life isn’t that He’s the grand puppeteer and you’re his puppet. God’s goal for your life is relationship with Him. Just move towards God and listen. Because once you get there, He’ll take care of what’s next.
Don’t overwhelm yourself with questions about timing, productivity, goals, plans, and proficiency. Start with being centered on God and on who you are to Him. You mean more to God than you can imagine. Philippians 3:9-10 says, “Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ 9 and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith.”
What’s next? I don’t know, I don’t need to. What I need to know is that everything is worthless when compared to the infinite value of knowing Jesus! Planning is important but God’s plans are better. Don’t stress, rest in Him.
